Owner/Doula Kate O’Brien was called to end-of-life and bereavement work after having two very different experiences with the death of her parents.

In 2014, her father chose to die as he lived, isolated, angry, resentful, and refusing her final phone call. Kate’s grief was sharp, messy, and complicated.

But Kate and her mother, Linda, made a point of having all of the Important Talks about their relationship and feelings, airing and resolving disagreements, and discussing their wishes regarding their eventual deaths while Linda was still healthy. In 2022, when Linda’s home was hit directly by Hurricane Ian and she was left without her supplemental oxygen for 36 hours, her health began to decline rapidly. Within a month, she was in the ICU.

But because of their many open discussions, Kate was able to take over as mother’s healthcare proxy, speaking frankly with her about the situation at hand, and confidently advocating on Linda’s behalf about her final needs and wishes. Linda died a comfortable, peaceful death, on her own terms, nestled snugly in her daughter’s arms. Kate misses her mom every single day, but she has no regrets whatsoever; they left nothing unsaid or unresolved. There was no second-guessing her mother’s clearly-communicated wishes. Kate is deeply grateful to her mother and tries to honor her every day.

After finding herself comfortably reaching out to several dying friends and acquaintances, she realized she was being called to this work to help guide dying people and their loved ones to complete their lives with as much comfort, clarity, compassion, and peace as possible - to honor her mother and her strength.